Do All Various Introductions Die?

I always seem to turn my head to your usual direction

Hoping I’d see your face

I hate that you gave me these handful of memories

For me to reminisce during rainy days

Do you know how much i want to stop liking you?

To stop thinking about you

To stop these feelings from crushing me

But i don’t want to forget you

See the conflict there?

I want you to be in my life at the same time not

I sometimes picture us

Or try to

Because every time I do, I let it go

Because even my fantasies know it can never be

I don’t know what’s more painful

You not here with me

Or me without you