An Apology, Five Years Too Late

It’s easy to say “I love you”
I love my hair, I love your outfit, I love muffins
I love waffles, I love pancakes, I love Star Wars
See how easy that is?

If someone says it isn’t easy
They’re either lying or someone broke them
I am both the liar and the bitter soul
Ask anyone and they’ll tell you my love is disposable
And you will find me easily replaceable
Because I am not worth crying over
I am not the type who is worth a song dedication
So save that Secondhand Serenade song for someone who deserves it
This heartbreaker doesn’t need a playlist

And You have permission to delete every picture we ever took
You have my permission to block me on Facebook
Because it would make things easier for both of us
You have permission to erase our conversations
Because nothing good comes from back reading 3 am messages
You have permission to delete my number
Trust me you’ll thank me when you’re holding a bottle
and your phone in the other hand
I’m saving you from uncoscious texts and intoxicated calls
So please, you have my permission to forget me

Because why would you want to remember a liar?
Why would you reminisce about someone who told you
she loved you a hundred times but never meant it
Why would you torture yourself with thoughts about what I said
Please don’t disect our memories trying to find what went wrong
Because I was the fault in every single one of them, I still am

I’m sorry for the hurt, the tears,
the words and for not loving you
I’m five years too late with this apology