You’re Not In Love


You tell me you’re in love
You recite metaphors as if they have meaning
As if they prove how you feel
It’s not proving anything
Except for the fact that your emotions are fiction
And you have no sense of what is real

You tell me you’re in love
You tell me its pain, you tell me its torture
You tell me I’m breaking your heart
You tell me it’s already broken
What exactly did I even break?
Because let’s be honest, I destroyed your illusion
You are not in love with me; you are in love with the words you created about me

Let me ask you, when was the last time you were in love?
Don’t mention the endless drunken nights
Don’t mention how you felt a weight on your chest that stopped you from breathing
Don’t colour your words, I need an honest answer not a song

Again, when was the last time your heart strings were pulled apart?
When was the last time you felt like there’s a tether pulling you towards another life?
When was the last time you had conversations that didn’t make sense?
When was the last time you ignored the hours, the sun creeping through your window?
When was the last time you felt someone’s breath on your neck then goose bumps started to crawl on your body?
When was the last time you drowned in the definition of what love is?

Because love isn’t synchronized breathing
It isn’t three am texts or flowers or spending every hour together
Love is knowing someone’s secrets that they don’t even know themselves
Love is knowing their routine

Tell me about your ex
And I don’t mean basic information
It’s a simple survey everyone checks
You can get that from any first date conversation
Everyone knows everyone’s favourite colour, favourite movie
Tell me about her depth, what you know that only a few could?

Tell me how she gets mad, do you remember her expression? Did you even notice?
Do you know how to make her laugh?
Do you know how to comfort her?
Do you know the signs that she’s about to cry?
Do you even notice how she talks?
Can you tell the difference in her intonations?
Can you tell if she’s keeping a secret? Or if she’s holding back a breakdown?
And do you know a secret about her that even she doesn’t know?

If you answered yes then you do know what love is
So why are you bothering with me?
Why are you trying to convince yourself that you are in love
When you don’t know the first thing about me
And if I ask you why you like me, please avoid saying I’m pretty
If that’s the reason, then you have no reason to love me at all

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