“The thing about a spiral is, if you follow it inward, it never actually ends. It just keeps tightening, infinitely.” ― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

black flat screen tv turned off

“Good morning!”
Or at least that’s what I want to say
But every time I wake up
I hold my breath
Constraining myself
Because there’s a voice
In my head
Telling me to do this
I don’t know who they are
Or what they want
But I lay there
Until the room starts spinning
Trapping the air in my lungs
Until it sneaks up
Towards the tunnels of my throat
Swallowing it back
Until the voice tells me
Exhale, breathe
Suddenly I can feel
The wash of my tears
Fall from my face
Washing away last night’s
Cakey make-up
I don’t know why
I just do what the voice says
Maybe one day
I’ll wake up
With silence
Breathe in and out
Taste the calm of my room
Or maybe one day
This voice will allow
Me to just breathe

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