An Agoraphobiac in a Closet

When I was 13, I built myself a closet to suffocate in my non-existent heterosexuality. Decorated the walls pink and blue, hoping it would feel like home.  I grew up thinking there was only gay or straight, no other option. So, I spent half of my life having a gay identity crisis.  Then you came …

Afraid to be your reason

My biggest fear in a relationship is someone giving up everything for me. Their identity, dreams, friends, and create this new life around me. I am afraid they would slowly brew resentment, listing down regrets and what-ifs they forgot to consider. I’m afraid when the days are silent, they create scenarios of decisions they never …

Coming Out: I’m Here, Proud and Queer

I am bisexual. I don’t know the percentage I fall under because for the most part I mostly lean towards anyone I find appealing. Whether it’s their personality or how their presence makes me feel, gender was never part of my type. If you want to go a little technical then I can safely say …

Pieces of Peace: An Old Routine

I found myself in somebody else’s bed again. I’ve already mastered this routine, a few bottles here and there. Now I’ve lost my phone in this unfamiliar mess. Tip-toeing the hallways, finding pieces of my self-worth scattered on the floor. There are times, I’d wake up next to a stranger and other days I see …

Pieces of Peace: For Every Person I’ve Been With

I was thirteen-years-old when I had my first kiss.  It was wet. I didn’t understand what was happening. Was it supposed to feel this way? I’ve watched enough teen sitcoms and romantic comedies to know how a kiss should look like. Assuming it felt as great as having a killer soundtrack while you’re making out. …

Pieces of Peace: Midnight ramblings for a soulmate

Photo by Alex Robert via Unsplash  Is there such a thing as soulmates in the romantic sense of the term? I once thought a past love of mine was my soulmate. Though my evidence was shallow and my reasons could be pure coincidences and not handed out by fate. Now, 12:20 a.m on the clock …

Falling Apart and Burning

I am sitting in a burning room and all I can say is that I am fine. By the next few minutes, I would be buried with the ruins of my sanity. I am watching flames dance until everything becomes ashes along with my desire to live. Turned off my phone, my Wifi, and social …

Pieces of Peace: My Anxiety is not Romantic

  My anxiety is not romantic. My anxiety is not a fetish you can bring into the bedroom.  Someone told you that someone with anxiety is a great lover.  You believe because of my constant need of validation that everything will be okay; I will pour my energy into our relationship.  You are sadly mistaken …